1 00:00:04,569 --> 00:00:06,836 � Boy, the way Glenn Miller played � 2 00:00:06,904 --> 00:00:10,540 � songs that made the hit parade � 3 00:00:10,608 --> 00:00:14,144 � guys like us we had it made � 4 00:00:14,212 --> 00:00:16,946 � those were the days � 5 00:00:17,014 --> 00:00:20,683 � and you knew where you were then � 6 00:00:20,751 --> 00:00:24,254 � girls were girls and men were men � 7 00:00:24,322 --> 00:00:27,224 � mister, we could use a man � 8 00:00:27,291 --> 00:00:31,060 � like Herbert hoover again � 9 00:00:31,128 --> 00:00:34,431 � didn't need no welfare state � 10 00:00:34,499 --> 00:00:37,934 � everybody pulled his weight � 11 00:00:38,002 --> 00:00:41,638 � gee, our old lasalle ran great � 12 00:00:41,705 --> 00:00:46,143 � those were the days � 13 00:00:53,618 --> 00:00:57,687 Gee, ma, that's lovely. Really, Michael and I can't thank you enough. 14 00:00:57,755 --> 00:01:00,957 Well, how often does my only daughter... 15 00:01:01,025 --> 00:01:04,694 Celebrate her first wedding anniversary? 16 00:01:04,762 --> 00:01:06,296 Just think, Archie. 17 00:01:06,364 --> 00:01:12,001 Gloria and Mike have been with us as man and wife for one whole year. 18 00:01:12,069 --> 00:01:13,603 Ain't that wonderful? 19 00:01:20,811 --> 00:01:24,514 It's like celebrating your 365th day of a toothache. 20 00:01:28,386 --> 00:01:30,320 Where is the meathead anyhow? 21 00:01:30,388 --> 00:01:33,623 He ought to be here with the food any minute. 22 00:01:33,691 --> 00:01:36,259 Daddy, will you please stop calling him names? 23 00:01:36,327 --> 00:01:38,495 Tonight means something to Michael and me, 24 00:01:38,563 --> 00:01:41,931 so why don't you just join in the spirit of the celebration? 25 00:01:41,999 --> 00:01:44,901 Yeah, it's their first anniversary. 26 00:01:44,968 --> 00:01:47,604 That's the paper anniversary, ain't it? Yeah. 27 00:01:47,672 --> 00:01:50,607 Well, I'm right in the spirit then. I'm reading the paper. 28 00:01:52,310 --> 00:01:56,012 Here's the food. Oh, hi, Michael. Happy anniversary. 29 00:01:57,415 --> 00:02:01,518 Edith, tell them to cut that out and bring the food over. 30 00:02:01,586 --> 00:02:04,921 All right, Archie. Okay, everybody, let's eat. 31 00:02:04,988 --> 00:02:07,790 I'll get some nice bowls. Never mind the bowls, Edith. 32 00:02:07,858 --> 00:02:10,227 Just dish it out. It's getting cold in the bag. 33 00:02:10,294 --> 00:02:12,596 We got subgum chow mein. 34 00:02:12,663 --> 00:02:15,632 We got sweet and sour pork, some fried rice, 35 00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:18,134 some egg rolls, and what else? 36 00:02:18,202 --> 00:02:20,870 We got some egg foo Yung. Smells good. 37 00:02:20,938 --> 00:02:22,872 Let me fix your plate, Archie. 38 00:02:22,940 --> 00:02:25,908 I got my own plate, and I'm fixing it myself. 39 00:02:25,976 --> 00:02:28,278 Where's the sweet and sour? Right over there. 40 00:02:28,346 --> 00:02:30,380 The best way to eat this... 41 00:02:30,448 --> 00:02:33,816 Is for everybody to taste a little of everything. 42 00:02:33,884 --> 00:02:36,185 That's your way, Edith. It ain't mine. 43 00:02:37,688 --> 00:02:41,291 Daddy, you're hogging the rice. Here it is. 44 00:03:03,947 --> 00:03:06,816 Why don't you eat, Archie? 45 00:03:06,884 --> 00:03:09,352 'Cause I ain't got a fork, Edith. 46 00:03:11,221 --> 00:03:16,092 The kids thought since it's a special occasion and it's Chinese food, 47 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,395 we'll all use chopsticks. 48 00:03:18,462 --> 00:03:20,463 I don't care if it's chinks. I want a fork. 49 00:03:22,232 --> 00:03:26,736 - Archie, it's Chinese food. - That's what I said-- chinks. 50 00:03:26,804 --> 00:03:29,739 And I ain't knocking the Chinese people by saying that. 51 00:03:29,807 --> 00:03:33,576 It's just how I and everybody I know calls their food. 52 00:03:33,644 --> 00:03:35,578 And their laundries. 53 00:03:37,315 --> 00:03:41,150 Will you stay out of this, huh? That's what you call 'em. 54 00:03:41,218 --> 00:03:43,152 Will you stifle yourself? 55 00:03:43,220 --> 00:03:48,358 Just the other day, you told me to take your shirts to the chinky laundry. 56 00:03:49,727 --> 00:03:51,894 I don't care what I told you. 57 00:03:51,962 --> 00:03:55,932 I'm telling you now, I can't eat the food with these chink pickup sticks, 58 00:03:55,999 --> 00:03:57,934 so get me a fork. 59 00:03:58,001 --> 00:04:00,236 Right away, Archie. Gee, Archie. 60 00:04:00,304 --> 00:04:03,105 How can you talk like that? With one word, 61 00:04:03,173 --> 00:04:05,809 you're putting away an entire race of people. 62 00:04:05,876 --> 00:04:08,044 Yeah, that's right. And not just the Chinese. 63 00:04:08,111 --> 00:04:10,880 The Laotians, the Cambodians, the Vietnamese, the Koreans-- 64 00:04:10,948 --> 00:04:15,084 hold it there, meathead. I never called them countries chinks. 65 00:04:15,152 --> 00:04:17,887 No. He calls them gooks. 66 00:04:25,363 --> 00:04:27,797 You said they're all your yellow race. 67 00:04:27,865 --> 00:04:31,434 They ain't exactly chinks, but they're definitely offshoots of your chinks. 68 00:04:31,502 --> 00:04:33,703 They're what you call chinkish. 69 00:04:35,172 --> 00:04:39,108 Enough's enough. I asked you not to upset Michael and I. 70 00:04:39,176 --> 00:04:41,611 - What am I doing? - Why shouldn't he upset me? 71 00:04:41,679 --> 00:04:44,146 Why is tonight any different? Nothing's changed. 72 00:04:44,214 --> 00:04:47,016 I've been putting up with the same bull ever since the first time I met him. 73 00:04:47,084 --> 00:04:50,219 Don't remind me of that, meathead, 74 00:04:50,287 --> 00:04:54,657 because that night is stamped "inedibly" on my heart, 75 00:04:54,725 --> 00:04:57,159 along with other fond memories of the past... 76 00:04:57,227 --> 00:05:00,196 Like Pearl harbor and the crash of the hindenburg. 77 00:05:02,633 --> 00:05:05,001 I'll never forget that night either. 78 00:05:05,068 --> 00:05:09,572 Gloria was so cute and excited, running around, 79 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:14,377 and all because Mike was coming to dinner for the first time. 80 00:05:14,445 --> 00:05:19,982 Ma. Ma. I looked all over and I can't find the linen napkins. 81 00:05:20,050 --> 00:05:23,386 They're ought to be right there in that cabinet. 82 00:05:23,454 --> 00:05:26,423 - I looked and they're not here. - That's funny. 83 00:05:26,490 --> 00:05:30,693 They were there when I took 'em out a minute ago. 84 00:05:30,761 --> 00:05:33,763 Gloria, here they are. Thanks, ma. 85 00:05:33,831 --> 00:05:38,401 Gee, they're beautiful. Linen napkins. 86 00:05:38,469 --> 00:05:43,139 Should I bring the crabmeat cocktail out now or wait till later? 87 00:05:43,206 --> 00:05:47,444 Let's wait till he comes. Crabmeat cocktails. 88 00:05:47,511 --> 00:05:52,181 I better check the oven. We don't wanna overcook the roast duckling. 89 00:05:52,249 --> 00:05:55,117 Roast duckling. Come on, Edith. What is this? 90 00:05:55,185 --> 00:05:57,887 Daddy, would you please put on this tie? 91 00:05:57,955 --> 00:05:59,889 No, I won't put on no tie. 92 00:05:59,957 --> 00:06:02,425 What's going on around here? What are youse doing? 93 00:06:02,493 --> 00:06:06,228 Linens napkins, when all I ever get is paper towels. 94 00:06:06,296 --> 00:06:11,000 Crabmeat cocktails, whereas the best I usually get is the canned fruit cup... 95 00:06:11,068 --> 00:06:14,771 With the fruit cut up so small, it looks like somebody ate it before. 96 00:06:16,941 --> 00:06:18,875 What's this roast duckling? 97 00:06:18,943 --> 00:06:22,445 The last time your mother made roast duckling for me was never. 98 00:06:22,513 --> 00:06:24,547 Now you're telling me to put on a tie. 99 00:06:24,615 --> 00:06:28,250 What is it? Who we entertaining here? The count of monte "crisco"? 100 00:06:30,187 --> 00:06:33,155 Daddy, you're jealous. 101 00:06:33,223 --> 00:06:37,660 No, I ain't jealous. I'm your father. What are you talking about? 102 00:06:37,728 --> 00:06:41,731 I just wanna know why we're putting on all this doll, that's all. 103 00:06:41,799 --> 00:06:43,733 For one of them losers of yours? 104 00:06:43,801 --> 00:06:48,004 Like that little shrimpy guy with the no chin, used to have all them nosebleeds? 105 00:06:49,206 --> 00:06:52,709 Arnold derosa. Daddy, we were 12 years old. 106 00:06:52,776 --> 00:06:55,177 Don't make no difference. You was always picking losers, always, 107 00:06:55,245 --> 00:06:57,246 and I got a feeling from the fuss you're making now... 108 00:06:57,314 --> 00:07:00,049 That this guy tonight is gonna be the biggest loser of them all. 109 00:07:00,117 --> 00:07:03,285 How can you say that, daddy? You haven't even met him yet. 110 00:07:03,353 --> 00:07:05,955 I don't wanna meet him. What do you think of that? 111 00:07:06,023 --> 00:07:09,993 You're not just fair. Ma! 112 00:07:10,060 --> 00:07:12,562 Ma. What is it, Gloria? 113 00:07:12,630 --> 00:07:16,499 I got a feeling daddy's gonna ruin everything tonight. I just know it. 114 00:07:16,567 --> 00:07:21,370 What do I do? You really like this boy, don't you? 115 00:07:21,438 --> 00:07:24,507 Well, yeah. A lot? 116 00:07:24,575 --> 00:07:26,643 Yeah. 117 00:07:26,710 --> 00:07:30,647 Would the word l-o-v-e describe it? 118 00:07:31,916 --> 00:07:33,616 Yeah. 119 00:07:33,684 --> 00:07:37,086 Gloria, that's wonderful. 120 00:07:37,154 --> 00:07:41,057 Does Michael have a firm handshake? Huh? 121 00:07:41,124 --> 00:07:45,394 Your father likes a man to have a firm handshake. 122 00:07:45,462 --> 00:07:47,964 He says it's a sign of character. 123 00:07:48,032 --> 00:07:51,400 Ma, that's ridiculous. No, it's true. 124 00:07:51,468 --> 00:07:56,105 I remember one time when your father had a terrible toothache, 125 00:07:56,173 --> 00:07:59,642 so I took him to the mcnab's dentist, Dr. Marshall Herman. 126 00:07:59,710 --> 00:08:02,579 And your father said that shaking hands with him... 127 00:08:02,646 --> 00:08:05,748 Was like shaking hands with a wet washcloth, 128 00:08:05,816 --> 00:08:10,386 and he wouldn't let no limp wrist inside his mouth. 129 00:08:10,454 --> 00:08:13,022 You know what he called that dentist? 130 00:08:13,090 --> 00:08:16,593 - What, ma? - He called him the tooth fairy. 131 00:08:24,034 --> 00:08:28,104 So, you see, if Michael has a firm handshake, 132 00:08:28,171 --> 00:08:30,873 you got nothing to worry about. 133 00:08:30,941 --> 00:08:33,076 Oh, ma, he's here. Yeah. 134 00:08:33,143 --> 00:08:36,245 Do I look all right? You look lovely. 135 00:08:38,582 --> 00:08:42,251 Archie, please be nice to this boy. 136 00:08:42,319 --> 00:08:45,521 It's very im-- Edith, I'm always nice. 137 00:08:47,091 --> 00:08:49,659 Go let the jerk in. 138 00:08:49,727 --> 00:08:53,462 Daddy, please. And, please, the tie. 139 00:08:53,530 --> 00:08:55,798 Yeah, Archie. Here. Put the tie on. 140 00:08:55,866 --> 00:08:58,801 Cut that out, Edith. What do I have to wear this for? 141 00:08:58,869 --> 00:09:01,237 Coming! 142 00:09:15,753 --> 00:09:18,220 Michael, where's your tie? 143 00:09:18,288 --> 00:09:23,225 Well, I tried, Gloria, but it doesn't look good with an empty neck. 144 00:09:23,293 --> 00:09:27,997 Look, Edith, he wore his Halloween costume. 145 00:09:28,065 --> 00:09:31,267 Put a tie on me. Get rid of this thing here. 146 00:09:31,334 --> 00:09:34,070 Come on over here and meet my parents. 147 00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:37,339 Ma, daddy, this is Michael stivic. 148 00:09:37,407 --> 00:09:39,776 Michael, this is my mother, Mrs. Bunker. 149 00:09:39,843 --> 00:09:43,713 - Hi. How are you? - How do you do? 150 00:09:45,415 --> 00:09:47,817 And my father, Mr. Bunker. 151 00:09:52,589 --> 00:09:55,391 Daddy, this is Michael stivic. 152 00:09:55,458 --> 00:09:59,628 - Michael-- - all right, Gloria, we done that. 153 00:09:59,697 --> 00:10:01,964 I think we all know who everybody is now. 154 00:10:02,032 --> 00:10:04,801 I knew everybody before. 155 00:10:07,838 --> 00:10:10,372 Except Mr. Stivic. 156 00:10:11,809 --> 00:10:14,911 So, uh, you're Mr. Bunker. 157 00:10:14,978 --> 00:10:17,814 You figured that out, huh? 158 00:10:21,618 --> 00:10:25,121 Michael, shake his hand hard. Daddy likes that. 159 00:10:25,189 --> 00:10:28,224 Shake his hand, Archie. Be nice. Go ahead. Oh! 160 00:10:28,291 --> 00:10:29,726 Come on. 161 00:10:29,793 --> 00:10:31,928 All right, put 'er there. 162 00:10:34,631 --> 00:10:37,734 Ow! 163 00:10:37,801 --> 00:10:40,737 What the hell kind of an animal she bringing in here? 164 00:10:42,806 --> 00:10:45,742 He has a lot of character. 165 00:10:45,809 --> 00:10:49,145 Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm-mm-mm. 166 00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:52,615 Why don't you two sit down and get better acquainted... 167 00:10:52,682 --> 00:10:56,285 While Gloria and me finishing preparing the dinner. 168 00:10:56,353 --> 00:10:59,388 That's some nice tie your guest is wearing there. 169 00:10:59,456 --> 00:11:01,390 Come on, Gloria. 170 00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:14,436 How would you like to try this here chair? 'Cause that one's mine. 171 00:11:14,504 --> 00:11:16,438 Sorry. 172 00:11:27,651 --> 00:11:30,887 What kind of a name is stivic? Huh? 173 00:11:32,322 --> 00:11:35,825 Where you from? Oh. Uh, Chicago. 174 00:11:37,027 --> 00:11:38,961 I mean, what's your nationality? 175 00:11:40,764 --> 00:11:43,465 I'm an American. 176 00:11:43,533 --> 00:11:46,269 I mean, where are your people from? 177 00:11:46,336 --> 00:11:48,204 They're from Poland. 178 00:11:57,681 --> 00:12:00,783 That would make you Polish then, huh? 179 00:12:00,851 --> 00:12:02,151 Yeah. 180 00:12:08,658 --> 00:12:11,260 Anything interesting in the paper? Yeah. 181 00:12:11,328 --> 00:12:14,730 Two hundred arrested at a Vietnam day peace demonstration. 182 00:12:14,798 --> 00:12:17,867 Two hundred. They should've thrown the whole bunch of them in the can. 183 00:12:17,935 --> 00:12:20,703 Look at that picture there. Here they are. 184 00:12:20,770 --> 00:12:23,973 Throwing all kinds of junk and "deebris" at officers of the law. 185 00:12:24,041 --> 00:12:25,975 Desecrating on the American flag. 186 00:12:26,043 --> 00:12:28,177 What the hell do them peaceniks want anyhow? 187 00:12:28,245 --> 00:12:31,547 Well, I think they just don't like the idea... 188 00:12:31,614 --> 00:12:35,484 Of america fighting an illegal and immoral war. 189 00:12:35,552 --> 00:12:38,687 Well, if they don't like it, they can lump it. 190 00:12:40,157 --> 00:12:42,591 Take it down the road and dump it. 191 00:12:45,762 --> 00:12:48,331 You're saying, "america, love it or leave it"? 192 00:12:48,398 --> 00:12:52,869 That's right. It's a free country, so amscray. 193 00:12:52,936 --> 00:12:55,604 Well, that would include me too, Mr. Bunker. 194 00:12:55,672 --> 00:12:58,140 Then toodle-oo to you too. 195 00:12:59,576 --> 00:13:01,677 What would our leaving solve? 196 00:13:01,745 --> 00:13:04,947 With or without protests, this country would still have the same problems. 197 00:13:05,015 --> 00:13:06,682 What problems? 198 00:13:06,750 --> 00:13:10,052 The war, the racial problem, the economic problem, the pollution problem. 199 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,889 Come on. If you wanna nitpick-- 200 00:13:12,956 --> 00:13:16,558 nitpick? Let me tell you something, Mr. Bunker. 201 00:13:16,626 --> 00:13:21,630 Let me tell you something, Mr. Stivic. You are a meathead. 202 00:13:21,698 --> 00:13:26,068 - What did you call me? - A meathead. Dead from the neck up. 203 00:13:26,136 --> 00:13:28,170 Meathead. 204 00:13:28,238 --> 00:13:31,740 Yeah, now I see what your idea of a free country is. 205 00:13:31,808 --> 00:13:34,743 You're free to say anything you want, but if anyone disagrees with you, 206 00:13:34,811 --> 00:13:36,946 they're thrown into jail or called a meathead, right? 207 00:13:37,014 --> 00:13:40,316 That's right, 'cause this is america, land that I love. 208 00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:44,387 I love it too, and it's because I do, I protest when I think things are wrong. 209 00:13:44,454 --> 00:13:46,022 Then stand beside her... 210 00:13:46,089 --> 00:13:47,623 And guide her... 211 00:13:47,690 --> 00:13:50,092 The right to dissent is the principle upon which this country is based. 212 00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,328 Through the night with the light from above. 213 00:13:52,396 --> 00:13:55,097 It's in the bill of rights. From the mountains to the prairies, 214 00:13:55,165 --> 00:13:58,634 why do you think we broke away from England in the first place? 215 00:13:58,701 --> 00:14:01,670 To the oceans, white with foam. We demanded freedom. 216 00:14:01,738 --> 00:14:03,605 It's guys like you who don't listen to reason. 217 00:14:03,673 --> 00:14:06,008 God bless america, you're not listening to anything. 218 00:14:06,076 --> 00:14:09,345 You dumb Polack, you're prejudice! You're prejudice! 219 00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:11,680 My home sweet home. 220 00:14:11,748 --> 00:14:14,383 I'm leaving! � god bless america � 221 00:14:14,451 --> 00:14:16,718 you're prejudice! 222 00:14:16,786 --> 00:14:18,720 Archie! Get away from me. 223 00:14:18,788 --> 00:14:27,563 � My home sweet home � 224 00:14:29,899 --> 00:14:32,368 you were wrong. Why can't you just admit it? 225 00:14:32,436 --> 00:14:34,703 The one thing I don't remember about that night... 226 00:14:34,771 --> 00:14:38,740 Is how you got back into this house after I threw you out. 227 00:14:38,808 --> 00:14:41,944 Will you stop fooling around and get yourself a fork? 228 00:14:43,380 --> 00:14:46,349 Archie, you never threw me out. I walked out. 229 00:14:46,416 --> 00:14:49,118 That's right. He went down to the corner drugstore... 230 00:14:49,186 --> 00:14:51,220 And phoned me I don't know how many times. 231 00:14:51,288 --> 00:14:55,224 Every time I phoned, he hung up on me, saying it was the wrong number. 232 00:15:00,364 --> 00:15:02,365 Wrong number. 233 00:15:02,432 --> 00:15:06,969 That was the third wrong number in the last 10 minutes. It's Michael, isn't it? 234 00:15:07,037 --> 00:15:10,739 What do you want with that guy, Gloria? He's a loser. Forget him. 235 00:15:10,807 --> 00:15:13,742 I wanna marry that loser. 236 00:15:17,914 --> 00:15:20,916 - You what? - You heard me. 237 00:15:20,984 --> 00:15:23,785 No. Are you kidding me? 238 00:15:23,853 --> 00:15:27,223 A girl waits around all her life for Mr. Right to come along, 239 00:15:27,290 --> 00:15:30,493 and now she settles for Mr. Wrong-ski. 240 00:15:33,763 --> 00:15:37,666 I'm gonna marry him, daddy, no matter what you say about him. 241 00:15:37,734 --> 00:15:41,370 You can do anything you want to try to stop me. 242 00:15:41,438 --> 00:15:44,140 That's for me. I'll get that. 243 00:15:44,207 --> 00:15:46,142 Michael, darling, I love you. 244 00:15:46,209 --> 00:15:48,144 I'm sorry about what happened between you and daddy, 245 00:15:48,211 --> 00:15:51,880 and I'm sorry you haven't been able to get through to me, and I'm sorry... 246 00:15:51,948 --> 00:15:55,051 That I called you "sweetheart," Mr. Kelsey. 247 00:15:57,020 --> 00:15:59,255 Yes, I'll tell him. 248 00:15:59,322 --> 00:16:02,791 Okay. Yeah. Good-bye. 249 00:16:02,859 --> 00:16:04,726 I knew that wasn't for you. 250 00:16:04,794 --> 00:16:07,229 That was Kelsey down at the bar, right? Yes. 251 00:16:07,297 --> 00:16:10,499 He's coming over Friday to watch the fights with you and me like always. 252 00:16:10,567 --> 00:16:13,502 Right, daddy. Now, listen-- it's gonna be some fight Friday night. 253 00:16:13,570 --> 00:16:15,904 Raphael Salazar versus gaspar ruiz. 254 00:16:15,972 --> 00:16:19,542 With a couple of names like that, the tackle meat's really gonna fly. 255 00:16:19,609 --> 00:16:21,677 Daddy, I'm trying to tell you something about Michael and me. 256 00:16:21,744 --> 00:16:24,947 You know what makes them mexi-canos such great scrappers in the ring? 257 00:16:25,014 --> 00:16:26,949 It's from growing up 16 in a family. 258 00:16:27,016 --> 00:16:30,586 They got to fight over the one bowl of refried beans. 259 00:16:30,653 --> 00:16:33,289 Hey, put 'em up. See if you remember anything... 260 00:16:33,356 --> 00:16:35,291 I taught you with your Dukes, huh? 261 00:16:35,358 --> 00:16:39,027 Come on. Put 'em up. Daddy, cut that out. Daddy, don't. 262 00:16:39,096 --> 00:16:40,862 Look out. Stop it. 263 00:16:40,930 --> 00:16:44,400 Daddy, I'm too old for this now. I'm not your little girl anymore. 264 00:16:47,504 --> 00:16:49,938 Don't you never tell me that. 265 00:16:52,542 --> 00:16:54,977 There's another man in my life. 266 00:16:56,779 --> 00:16:59,615 Whether you wanna hear it or not, 267 00:16:59,682 --> 00:17:02,918 I love Michael, and I'm gonna marry him, 268 00:17:02,986 --> 00:17:06,555 even though he may never wish to set foot in this house again. 269 00:17:06,623 --> 00:17:08,890 I don't wanna see him in this house no more. 270 00:17:11,194 --> 00:17:15,764 Whenever anyone used to ask me what kind of a guy I wanted my daughter to marry, 271 00:17:15,832 --> 00:17:18,334 I always said I don't care, 272 00:17:18,401 --> 00:17:21,337 as long as she loves him and he's white. 273 00:17:24,574 --> 00:17:29,545 I'm adding a third condition. He can't be that stivic guy. Case is closed. 274 00:17:31,181 --> 00:17:33,849 Ma! Ma! 275 00:17:34,851 --> 00:17:37,319 What it is, Gloria? 276 00:17:37,387 --> 00:17:40,656 How could everything go so wrong? 277 00:17:40,723 --> 00:17:42,891 Easy. 278 00:17:45,162 --> 00:17:48,464 But life goes in circles, 279 00:17:48,532 --> 00:17:50,633 and when things get wrong enough, 280 00:17:50,700 --> 00:17:53,035 then they start getting right again. 281 00:17:53,102 --> 00:17:55,037 I don't believe that, ma. 282 00:17:55,104 --> 00:17:57,640 Okay, but I'm still basting the duck, 283 00:17:57,707 --> 00:18:01,843 'cause if it's true, I figure Mike will be back. 284 00:18:01,911 --> 00:18:04,980 He's back. You were right, ma. 285 00:18:05,048 --> 00:18:08,184 Dry your eyes. Oh, yeah. Baste. Baste. 286 00:18:12,055 --> 00:18:14,690 I thought there was somebody at the door. 287 00:18:19,796 --> 00:18:22,198 It's Michael out there, isn't it? 288 00:18:22,265 --> 00:18:25,467 There's a beard out there with a nobody under it. 289 00:18:25,535 --> 00:18:27,469 Ma! 290 00:18:29,005 --> 00:18:32,541 Michael! Gloria, I tried calling, but he kept hanging up on me. 291 00:18:32,609 --> 00:18:34,876 Now that you're here, you're coming in, aren't you? 292 00:18:34,944 --> 00:18:37,979 No, I'm not coming in. He just slammed the door in my face. 293 00:18:38,047 --> 00:18:39,481 Michael, don't go. 294 00:18:39,549 --> 00:18:44,853 Archie, please let him come back in. He's really a very nice boy. 295 00:18:44,921 --> 00:18:47,155 Nice boy? What do you mean nice boy? 296 00:18:47,224 --> 00:18:49,291 After he done what he done. He coming in here... 297 00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:52,060 And making suppository remarks about his country. 298 00:18:55,998 --> 00:18:58,534 Then on top of that, he's calling me prejudice. 299 00:18:58,602 --> 00:19:03,171 Prejudice. While i'm singing "god bless america," 300 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:07,643 written by a well-known, highly respectable Jewish guy, Milton Berlin. 301 00:19:09,045 --> 00:19:10,979 He's the kind of guy... 302 00:19:11,047 --> 00:19:13,915 Who thinks that patriotism is waving flags around and singing songs... 303 00:19:13,983 --> 00:19:15,917 Like "I'm a yankee doodle dandy." 304 00:19:15,985 --> 00:19:20,656 Written by George m. Cohan, another one of your decent hebes we're proud of. 305 00:19:20,724 --> 00:19:22,791 I don't have to stand for that. 306 00:19:22,859 --> 00:19:26,094 Michael, no. You stay. Archie, he's leaving. 307 00:19:26,162 --> 00:19:30,132 If you let him leave, I'll-I'll-I'll-- I'll-I'll-I'll what? 308 00:19:30,199 --> 00:19:33,736 - I'll do something terrible. - Like what? 309 00:19:33,803 --> 00:19:35,738 I have to think about it. 310 00:19:37,374 --> 00:19:40,175 But I will! 311 00:19:40,243 --> 00:19:42,778 I can't talk to you now. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I got to go. 312 00:19:42,845 --> 00:19:46,948 Mike, please stay. Archie, please, ask him back in. 313 00:19:47,016 --> 00:19:49,351 That nice dinner is gonna go to waste. 314 00:19:49,419 --> 00:19:51,987 No, it won't, Edith. We can eat it. 315 00:19:52,054 --> 00:19:55,691 Archie, please. Do it for me. No. No. 316 00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:59,495 Archie, I never ask for much. 317 00:19:59,562 --> 00:20:02,798 Please. For me? 318 00:20:08,271 --> 00:20:10,972 All right, Edith. 319 00:20:12,709 --> 00:20:15,644 Let him in, Gloria, but just for dinner. 320 00:20:15,712 --> 00:20:19,682 You give him one plate of that duck and then throw him out. 321 00:20:19,749 --> 00:20:22,384 Thank you, Archie. 322 00:20:22,452 --> 00:20:26,054 Michael, just come in and sit down and have a nice dinner. 323 00:20:26,122 --> 00:20:28,691 All right. I'll have dinner. 324 00:20:28,758 --> 00:20:32,494 But I don't wanna talk to him. Tell him it'll be my pleasure. 325 00:20:32,562 --> 00:20:35,864 Sit right down there and we'll go get the dinner. 326 00:20:35,932 --> 00:20:38,534 Stay right there. We'll be right back. 327 00:21:02,959 --> 00:21:07,996 Now, we're gonna start with a nice crabmeat cocktail. 328 00:21:08,064 --> 00:21:12,468 Then we're gonna have a delicious roast duckling that Gloria helped me cook. 329 00:21:12,535 --> 00:21:16,705 - Oh, ma. - Now, start right in. Don't wait for us. 330 00:21:23,713 --> 00:21:26,715 Well, um, 331 00:21:26,783 --> 00:21:30,552 daddy, Michael's a big baseball fan. He follows the mets like you. 332 00:21:30,620 --> 00:21:36,425 - Is that so? - He says the mets are gonna win the pennant this year. 333 00:21:36,493 --> 00:21:40,362 The mets ain't gonna win no pennant for ten, twenty years, if then. 334 00:21:40,430 --> 00:21:43,031 - Remember where you heard that. - I don't know. 335 00:21:43,099 --> 00:21:47,068 They got great pitching. They got koosman and seaver and a fantastic bench... 336 00:21:47,136 --> 00:21:49,872 And that great platoon system of Gil Hodges. 337 00:21:51,340 --> 00:21:53,275 You know something about baseball, huh? 338 00:21:53,342 --> 00:21:56,612 - Yeah. I really love the game. - Well, so do I. 339 00:21:57,914 --> 00:22:00,482 I bet you seen a lot of the great ones, huh? 340 00:22:00,550 --> 00:22:02,651 Yeah. Seen 'em all. 341 00:22:02,719 --> 00:22:06,955 Ruth, gehrig, hubbell. All of them. Way before your time, of course. 342 00:22:07,023 --> 00:22:09,558 Yeah, the game's changed a lot since them days. 343 00:22:09,626 --> 00:22:11,126 Live ball. 344 00:22:11,193 --> 00:22:13,595 Live ball, the expansion clubs. 345 00:22:13,663 --> 00:22:17,065 Then, of course, the biggest change of all-- 1947. 346 00:22:20,169 --> 00:22:22,103 1947? 347 00:22:22,171 --> 00:22:26,708 Yeah. That was the year they let Jackie Robinson into the majors. 348 00:22:26,776 --> 00:22:29,711 Changed the whole complexion of the game. 349 00:22:31,113 --> 00:22:33,415 In more ways than one. 350 00:22:33,483 --> 00:22:35,784 What do you mean by that? We're about ready for the duck now. 351 00:22:35,852 --> 00:22:38,219 Wait a second. What do you mean by that? 352 00:22:38,287 --> 00:22:42,691 It threw the whole game out of balance, letting Robinson in. 353 00:22:42,759 --> 00:22:44,693 You're saying that the inferior black race... 354 00:22:44,761 --> 00:22:47,228 Should not be given a chance alongside the superior white race? 355 00:22:47,296 --> 00:22:51,733 Hold it, Mr. Liberal meathead. I never said nothing about your inferior black race. 356 00:22:51,801 --> 00:22:53,735 If you just let me finish. 357 00:22:53,803 --> 00:22:57,238 - Daddy. - Just the opposite, if you let me finish. 358 00:22:57,306 --> 00:23:00,576 All I'm saying is, your coloreds is, as is well-known-- 359 00:23:00,643 --> 00:23:04,480 they run faster, they jump higher, they don't bruise so easy. 360 00:23:06,282 --> 00:23:09,751 And because of their jungle heritage, they see better. 361 00:23:09,819 --> 00:23:13,922 - It's great for night games. - You know something, Mr. Bunker? 362 00:23:13,990 --> 00:23:15,924 At first I thought I misjudged you. 363 00:23:15,992 --> 00:23:18,594 And I was right. I did misjudge you. 364 00:23:18,661 --> 00:23:20,596 You're a lot more ignorant than I thought. 365 00:23:23,466 --> 00:23:28,303 You hear what he called me? Ignorant. Well, let me tell you something. 366 00:23:28,371 --> 00:23:31,272 Sticks and stones may break my bones, 367 00:23:31,340 --> 00:23:34,009 but you are one dumb Polack. 368 00:23:34,076 --> 00:23:37,813 That does it. That does it. I don't care what we talked about. 369 00:23:37,881 --> 00:23:42,017 There's no way I can spend four years in this house with this man. 370 00:23:42,084 --> 00:23:43,785 What did I just hear? 371 00:23:43,853 --> 00:23:46,922 If you're gonna continue school after we get married, 372 00:23:46,990 --> 00:23:48,924 you're gonna have to live here. 373 00:23:48,992 --> 00:23:53,028 What did I just hear? You're gonna get married and live with us? 374 00:23:53,095 --> 00:23:57,032 I know that's what we planned, but if I spend four years with him, I'm gonna go nuts. 375 00:23:57,099 --> 00:24:01,036 Tell me what I just heard. Michael, I just don't see it any other way. 376 00:24:01,103 --> 00:24:03,705 What the hell is going on here? 377 00:24:03,773 --> 00:24:07,843 They're gonna get married and live with us. 378 00:24:07,911 --> 00:24:10,946 And what am I supposed to do, join the Navy? 379 00:24:14,283 --> 00:24:18,053 Archie, you know how you've always prayed for a son. 380 00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:20,856 Well, now your prayer has been answered. 381 00:24:20,924 --> 00:24:23,525 The good lord must have heard you. 382 00:24:23,593 --> 00:24:28,063 In 49 years he answers one prayer, and this is it? Oh, no! 383 00:24:39,909 --> 00:24:42,110 Happy anniversary. 384 00:24:42,178 --> 00:24:44,112 Thanks, ma. Happy anniversary. Happy anniversary. 385 00:24:49,251 --> 00:24:51,186 Ah, geez. 386 00:24:52,689 --> 00:24:55,423 Ain't that sweet, Archie? 387 00:24:55,491 --> 00:24:57,893 Come on, Edith. Cut the cake. 388 00:24:57,961 --> 00:25:02,130 Oh, I can't. They got to blow out the candle first. 389 00:25:05,534 --> 00:25:09,571 What did you do that for? It's our cake. 390 00:25:26,823 --> 00:25:31,026 All in the family was recorded on tape before a live audience.